(something I wrote years ago, circa 2013, that seems to apply today)
I have been up all night looking at astro stuff. I know how obsessive I can get about things but it is hard to stop it, lol. But tonight, I looked at things without the hope, expectation and rose-colored glasses. I looked at it for exactly what it is and not what I want it to be and I came out alive, lol!
Last summer I went through a dark night of the soul and I came out thinking that all I needed to do was hope and believe and attract. But as is my intuitive feeling about hope is that it is too much tied into expectation. It is hard to hope for something without eventually expecting it. I almost see hope as a nice word for expectation. Like “I HOPE you would do x,y and z” ……it seems harmless but if someone said that to you then you would see easily how their “hope” is really what they want/expect you to do. It is a way to dress something not so flowery in flowery language to deceive others into getting what you “hope” for.
But when the hopes don’t pan out, the feelings are similar to when the expectations don’t pan out. There is disappointment. It is a high that inevitably leads to a low. I now UNDERSTAND why it is so important to not have hopes or desires like that at all. Without them, there is no high/low rise and dip. You stay pretty much even and that evenness allows you to accept whatever comes, as you are not emotionally invested in the outcome.
This is not to say that everyone needs to do away with hope. And I would love to hear your thoughts on all this later. But it is to say that if one is going to hope, they should keep a REAL leash on it that it does not grow to expectation and disappointment.
So I looked at all this stuff. Stuff I have seen a thousand times by now and I just accepted all that I saw. I still had some glimmer of the hope/disappointment but it was not nearly as extreme. I think I have found the way to balance my emotions. Every time my mind wanders down a path of “hope”, I say to myself “let it go, let it go” and I do. That is going to be my new mantra. Reminding myself to let go and allow.
7/1/18 Allow myself to move on…